There's something oddly poetic and poignant about sorrow. And for each, this little window opens out into their personal fields of yellow, a yellow that you can tell comes out of long hours spent under the heat of solitude and suffering; sun-dried to yellow-brown perfection - just like you pictured. And quite aptly, this window opens up ever so often, bringing with it the breeze of remembrance, caressing and lulling the soul to retreat into that yellow place again. The same wounds; only this time, the ache is not just a reminder, but an awakening- and realization dawns. That there's a time and place for everything, and more importantly "everyone". You realize that those who want to believe what they do, will do so-regardless. You realize that, not everyone has to be part of the circle. You realize that because of this, you are no longer broken; but perhaps stronger at best and indifferent at worst. You realize that holding your cards closer to your chest is much cleaner than baring all. You realize that saying "I'm OK" was, is and always will be-YOUR prerogative.
And then the window closes; just for bit of repose; for that breathing space of saneness, for semblance and sanity and for some of the yellow to blur into bright green or orange and perhaps a little purple too......
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Forgetfullness Refreshed
Came in one's and two's until,
sitting on that window sill,
vultures watched me move still,
waiting- they'd got time to kill.
Building walls of broken trust,
Illusions turned the truth to rust,
Raven foolish lost the crust,
faith was sadly left to dust.
Vultures swooping made their move,
Raven left with nothing to prove.
years of learning all undone,
wounds exposed,old journey begun.
sitting on that window sill,
vultures watched me move still,
waiting- they'd got time to kill.
Building walls of broken trust,
Illusions turned the truth to rust,
Raven foolish lost the crust,
faith was sadly left to dust.
Vultures swooping made their move,
Raven left with nothing to prove.
years of learning all undone,
wounds exposed,old journey begun.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
And they're at it again
SO if it wasn't for the quiet lull, someone would have actually believed these creatures had turned a leaf for the better. So, now it's OK for a woman to wear what she wants to wear ( within limits God forbid!!), It's ok for her walk down the streets ( only in day light- don't you dare forget) and it's ok for her to have a mind of her own ( only until I feel like slapping the life out of you for, well - being you). Everything's JUST OK. Until reality smacks you in the face and you get slapped and groped in the middle of a busy street for refusing to take your clothes off for a bunch of strangers. Well, well, well: Welcome to new Age India, where IT valleys give way to rats that dwell in unsuspecting corners, ready to lurch at the sight of anything with boobs.
An aunt of mine living abroad, recently mentioned an ill-mannered 5 yr old Indian kid she'd met at a social gathering with friends. She went on and on for over ten minutes talking about how he'd put his hands into food, take what wasn't his and was never even reprimanded for his actions. She said this was typical of Indian men. I didn't know if I should appropriately feel righteous and offended seeing as I am Indian. But today's news does put everything back into perspective. I mean no where else in the world would you find such distasteful behavior in a collective group of members who care not for anything other than to display oodles of their dominance of society. yes there are good men around, and yes women are "allowed" to do what is that they want to do. But in a predominantly male dominated society, it's only as good as the next second. When the tide turns, you'd never know.
But while I rave and rant, I mustn't forget that violence and dominance and uncouthness begins at home. Whether it's a male child whose antics are ignored because well- he's a boy after all, or whether it's the wife who tolerates more than her share of unjust behavior- all for love or the sanctity of home or watchameycallit. It doesn't matter- because what you see is what you get. A child observing his shenanigans being waved off as silly boyish playfulness or watching his father's equation with his mother, all play such an important role in how he ends up treating women as he grows to be an adult. And the sad part of it all is that society accepts this portrayal of family life as the norm. But then gasp in shock and disbelief when a man thinks it's perfectly ok to stroke his no-good manhood in public as a woman passes by. Come- on he's a man. he's allowed. RIGHT?? Yeah I hear you- It isn't your son or your brother or your husband- it's not right? Or so you'd love to delude yourself into believing. That's fine, believe what you will. In a society that claims to be progressive on one hand, there's a dark shadow of androphobia, disguising itself as acceptance of men being what they are best at- " Being Men" and I am not sure what a mere blog like this can do.
An aunt of mine living abroad, recently mentioned an ill-mannered 5 yr old Indian kid she'd met at a social gathering with friends. She went on and on for over ten minutes talking about how he'd put his hands into food, take what wasn't his and was never even reprimanded for his actions. She said this was typical of Indian men. I didn't know if I should appropriately feel righteous and offended seeing as I am Indian. But today's news does put everything back into perspective. I mean no where else in the world would you find such distasteful behavior in a collective group of members who care not for anything other than to display oodles of their dominance of society. yes there are good men around, and yes women are "allowed" to do what is that they want to do. But in a predominantly male dominated society, it's only as good as the next second. When the tide turns, you'd never know.
But while I rave and rant, I mustn't forget that violence and dominance and uncouthness begins at home. Whether it's a male child whose antics are ignored because well- he's a boy after all, or whether it's the wife who tolerates more than her share of unjust behavior- all for love or the sanctity of home or watchameycallit. It doesn't matter- because what you see is what you get. A child observing his shenanigans being waved off as silly boyish playfulness or watching his father's equation with his mother, all play such an important role in how he ends up treating women as he grows to be an adult. And the sad part of it all is that society accepts this portrayal of family life as the norm. But then gasp in shock and disbelief when a man thinks it's perfectly ok to stroke his no-good manhood in public as a woman passes by. Come- on he's a man. he's allowed. RIGHT?? Yeah I hear you- It isn't your son or your brother or your husband- it's not right? Or so you'd love to delude yourself into believing. That's fine, believe what you will. In a society that claims to be progressive on one hand, there's a dark shadow of androphobia, disguising itself as acceptance of men being what they are best at- " Being Men" and I am not sure what a mere blog like this can do.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Unmasked Reality- Persistant Disbelief
Truth becomes her, they said.
A finer one they'd ne'er seen, they said.
A walking mirage, in clouds of fame;
Only the dessert knew her game.
Little warrior found her way,
smoked veiled truth, light gave away.
Vines drifted, entwined;
black shadows left false truth confined.
And so bespoke from the aperture,
little white lies, no harm- no cure.
Candidness she deemed impure;
deceit lay wounds with open sores.
Hyperbole of being nice,
false promise led to sacrifice;
reliability implored the heart like ice,
little warrior did nothing but rolled her dice.
Poor Raven flew back and forth,
forgetting warrior wouldn't hold the fort;
left with soiled nectar to sort,
Raven swallowed her venomous retorts.
Fire once spewed will not return,
loneliness better than embers that burn.
Acceptance takes it's inevitable turn,
poor Raven was still slow to learn.
A finer one they'd ne'er seen, they said.
A walking mirage, in clouds of fame;
Only the dessert knew her game.
Little warrior found her way,
smoked veiled truth, light gave away.
Vines drifted, entwined;
black shadows left false truth confined.
And so bespoke from the aperture,
little white lies, no harm- no cure.
Candidness she deemed impure;
deceit lay wounds with open sores.
Hyperbole of being nice,
false promise led to sacrifice;
reliability implored the heart like ice,
little warrior did nothing but rolled her dice.
Poor Raven flew back and forth,
forgetting warrior wouldn't hold the fort;
left with soiled nectar to sort,
Raven swallowed her venomous retorts.
Fire once spewed will not return,
loneliness better than embers that burn.
Acceptance takes it's inevitable turn,
poor Raven was still slow to learn.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
CONDITIONED ABERRATION
As living beings- we're conditioned. Conditioned to do, conditioned to believe and most of all, we're conditioned to expect. We live in tiny bubbles built on immeasurable trust and faith in the other, believing without proof that they will turn out just the way we require them to be. Our invisible walls slowly dissipate and melt away into oblivion as each day passes. Until one day you're stopped in the middle of your tracks, expressing shock and dis-believe at how somebody from your soul circle could make you cry harder than you've ever cried before. Metaphorically too. You may not shed actual tears, but bits of your soul are taken away each time. Relief lies in accepting that we can't expect people to behave in ways that we would deem just and right and we can't expect people to behave in ways that you yourself may react in, if the situation were vice-versa. But just knowing this doesn't help. It's more about finding a place in yourself where nothing and nobody owns you and your happiness. Where you don't rely on other people to measure your self worth, nor do you rely on other people to be the source of your joys and lows. Where you own your wind and no one can take that away from you. We've somehow deluded ourselves into believing too much, forgetting too much and not understanding as much as we need to. It's easy to live in the moment, to enjoy the company of those that allow you to be you and to find spaces and comfort in people that you care for. But at the same time, understand that you mustn't go in blind. No one else can be you, no one else is you. And perhaps it 's unfair to expect someone else to do and say and react as you would.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Of shattered Pink Rose tinted glasses.... N More....
I was told by someone Seemingly more wise in the ways of the world and all else... that If I don't know how to do something, I shouldn't be doing it. Well Hold up for a minute will ya? Without sounding disrespectful, I'm wondering if most of the world thinks so too. Looking at it from the work point of view, I know I'd hate to take on a task that I know nothin about, I'd rather do it with supervision. Same goes for work that I delegate.. I wouldn't want to delegate to someone that i am not sure can accomplish the task at hand.. but should i write that person off? or should I find ways to get them up to speed? and of course the responsibility goes two ways- He/she must be a willing and able learner... So there.. But how plausible is it to apply the rules on the job to life at large?
Should I hang my boots and tell myself (as perhaps I have for the last half a decade) that because I don't know, I shouldn't bother trying? Well how is one to learn then? Should I be content content just watching other people doing everything as wonderfully as they can, without allowing myself a chance to learn something too?
What somehow isn't justifiable is that Just because someone has all the right answers and perhaps I don't have several of the answers right, does that make me any less of an individual to be respected? Does that mean that I should deprive myself of the very basic right of learning through every step in life? Or should i as they say, learn from others' experiences rather than have any of my own and make opinions and pathways of my own?
I'm beginning to see more clearly how so much of life is truly in the choices we make. Perhaps it's the coming of age, perhaps it's in the loosening of shackles or perhaps it's simply that the Pink rose tinted glasses couldn't hold up any more.... And braveness comes not in plenty, but in every little step you take.. Which is why I'm coming around to the next segment which is... how much people tend to give away their wings so to speak and let someone else make every decision in their lives big or small.... And it's almost always because the scales are tilted most times... As much as these people have a grip on your lives, it's also because you let them.... oh the convenience of it all is almost appalling. Sometimes, U see yourself bending over backwards to accommodate someone...sometimes it's because you bond over commonalities that only a few can understand. Sometimes it's because you don't want to make someone else go through some torrid times that you did. But the line must be drawn and that's what we forget.. Or perhaps that's what we must all learn... and just because not yet knowing how to draw the line can be a problem, it doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying..... cuz babe last time I checked this was MY life and I should be allowed to learn through my experiences rather than be persecuted for not learning from YOURS.
This post is sort of like a triple entree' of sorts because I'm going to end this one with something that I love writing the most: I think you'll find this one a little more relate-able than ever before.
Dark, tall shadows danced their dance,
Somewhere whimpers prayed for a glance.
Raven flew across her zone,
Cage for company, accident prone.
Misguided, begrudged, she fought her way,
Torrents sweeping, kept reality at bay.
The cage rebellious, has a mind of it's own,
How does poor raven come into her own?
Nearby, little trees had grown,
fed by nothing, still in dear Raven's zone...
Cage doing what it always does best,
blaming poor Raven for not passing the test.
Tired, she walked on,
realizing truth was what she stumbled upon.
Should I hang my boots and tell myself (as perhaps I have for the last half a decade) that because I don't know, I shouldn't bother trying? Well how is one to learn then? Should I be content content just watching other people doing everything as wonderfully as they can, without allowing myself a chance to learn something too?
What somehow isn't justifiable is that Just because someone has all the right answers and perhaps I don't have several of the answers right, does that make me any less of an individual to be respected? Does that mean that I should deprive myself of the very basic right of learning through every step in life? Or should i as they say, learn from others' experiences rather than have any of my own and make opinions and pathways of my own?
I'm beginning to see more clearly how so much of life is truly in the choices we make. Perhaps it's the coming of age, perhaps it's in the loosening of shackles or perhaps it's simply that the Pink rose tinted glasses couldn't hold up any more.... And braveness comes not in plenty, but in every little step you take.. Which is why I'm coming around to the next segment which is... how much people tend to give away their wings so to speak and let someone else make every decision in their lives big or small.... And it's almost always because the scales are tilted most times... As much as these people have a grip on your lives, it's also because you let them.... oh the convenience of it all is almost appalling. Sometimes, U see yourself bending over backwards to accommodate someone...sometimes it's because you bond over commonalities that only a few can understand. Sometimes it's because you don't want to make someone else go through some torrid times that you did. But the line must be drawn and that's what we forget.. Or perhaps that's what we must all learn... and just because not yet knowing how to draw the line can be a problem, it doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying..... cuz babe last time I checked this was MY life and I should be allowed to learn through my experiences rather than be persecuted for not learning from YOURS.
This post is sort of like a triple entree' of sorts because I'm going to end this one with something that I love writing the most: I think you'll find this one a little more relate-able than ever before.
Dark, tall shadows danced their dance,
Somewhere whimpers prayed for a glance.
Raven flew across her zone,
Cage for company, accident prone.
Misguided, begrudged, she fought her way,
Torrents sweeping, kept reality at bay.
The cage rebellious, has a mind of it's own,
How does poor raven come into her own?
Nearby, little trees had grown,
fed by nothing, still in dear Raven's zone...
Cage doing what it always does best,
blaming poor Raven for not passing the test.
Tired, she walked on,
realizing truth was what she stumbled upon.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The Impossible
Sometimes it's hard. When u think u can pick up the pieces and run...... Like flying high like a bird was the easiest thing imaginable. But ever so often, reality hits u smack in the face as you realize, nothing is at it seems.
You walk, marking roads as yours... marking people as yours... marking conversations, thoughts, words and smiles as yours..... but sooner or later, the journey ends... and you realize: you are right where you started... Everything that you ever feared, everything that you didn't believe you were, you begin to be... or perhaps you were all along. And u walk on, knowing now that "The Impossible" will remain but a song.
You walk, marking roads as yours... marking people as yours... marking conversations, thoughts, words and smiles as yours..... but sooner or later, the journey ends... and you realize: you are right where you started... Everything that you ever feared, everything that you didn't believe you were, you begin to be... or perhaps you were all along. And u walk on, knowing now that "The Impossible" will remain but a song.
Friday, April 9, 2010
As yet Misunderstood...
Embers of the song, bright still...
charred remains of far away..
Raven chocked, living on will,
wounded, memories lit the path-way.
an ageless ache, rising slow,
poetic sustenance, the only glow.
Whispers, rustled feathers at best,
haunting shadows deemed her test.
Wishing for eons before...
Times when pain was a fading sore.
Raven flew the ritualistic circles,
Self-doubt slicking burning embers.
New clouds with silver linings appear,
Hallucinations tearing through her fears.
Fingers pointed old and new,
insinuating crimes she never knew.
Foolishly Raven stopped for shade,
Creeping trees cut deep like blades.
Mocking cage not far away,
reminder dear Raven, don't stray.
distant shelter though deemed fit,
misunderstandings soon will let it slip.
charred remains of far away..
Raven chocked, living on will,
wounded, memories lit the path-way.
an ageless ache, rising slow,
poetic sustenance, the only glow.
Whispers, rustled feathers at best,
haunting shadows deemed her test.
Wishing for eons before...
Times when pain was a fading sore.
Raven flew the ritualistic circles,
Self-doubt slicking burning embers.
New clouds with silver linings appear,
Hallucinations tearing through her fears.
Fingers pointed old and new,
insinuating crimes she never knew.
Foolishly Raven stopped for shade,
Creeping trees cut deep like blades.
Mocking cage not far away,
reminder dear Raven, don't stray.
distant shelter though deemed fit,
misunderstandings soon will let it slip.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Familiar Poison :-)
without a shelter to call her own,
poor familiar raven roamed her zone.
Tempest played her best one side,
warrior displaying swords beside.
Coins flipped together;
heads & tails both disappear.
2 sides they play,
vineyards creeping,
lovely slow-poison every night.
Meanwhile shadows dance,
breaking dreams, a lasting glance.
twilight breaks, accompanying dreams.
Footsteps prance across the floor,
midnight's child looking at the door.
Whimpers left unheard.
quietly returned,
uncertainty marks all landing.
poor familiar raven roamed her zone.
Tempest played her best one side,
warrior displaying swords beside.
Coins flipped together;
heads & tails both disappear.
2 sides they play,
vineyards creeping,
lovely slow-poison every night.
Meanwhile shadows dance,
breaking dreams, a lasting glance.
twilight breaks, accompanying dreams.
Footsteps prance across the floor,
midnight's child looking at the door.
Whimpers left unheard.
quietly returned,
uncertainty marks all landing.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Excuse ME for wanting a career!!!!!
As much as nothing should surprise anyone ANYMORE, I still do a double take when I meet or hear about self proclaimed-educated-vain-self obsessed-excuses for men who, as is custom, believe the world and their laurels rest on the heads of their penile area. I wrack my brain trying to figure out if the male species is without hope, except for a few that bravely wear the tag( MALE). Before you judge me for ranting about this peculiar species or believe that I am a feminist ( I AM NOT), let me explain:
Normally, as you prepare yourself for an interview that you believe could do wonders for your career ( yes, WOMEN are ALLOWED to have careers psycho), you have the usual thoughts running through your mind. Like, how to present your accomplishments in true light and convincing your interviewer that you are indeed right for the job. I would assume that sounds just about on the right track don't you think? Well apparently not if you're a woman. A friend of mine just had the displeasure of being propositioned for sexual favors in exchange for a job. SO, this entails that a woman:
a) Cannot get a job based on her Merits
b) Must always be grateful to a man for giving her a job
c) Must gratify a man's needs in order to push through in her career
d) Must always feel like she owes men favors just because she deems herself fit to do a job.
Before you jump your guns, let me say- i agree that all men are not the same & many of them wouldn't even dream of taking this route. In fact my friend thought so too. In fact, the man in question was older than her father. So much so that she didn't even realize she was being propositioned until she spoke to me.
Lesson1- Never judge a man by his age. He could be a jerk regardless of how much he has or has not seen the world.
Lesson2- Never underestimate the lows that a man can fall to, all for a chance to get laid.
Lesson3- All men cannot be categorized as one. Just because Ur dad is a great guy, doesn't mean some other man of the same age is great.
Lesson4- Just because you believe in yourself and your ambitions and achievements, doesn't mean a man is not going to think of you a piece of ass.
I am without a doubt angry that this still happens in what we believe to be a free world. I am saddened that it all comes down to one thing after all, as much as we'd like to disagree. I AM NOT on a mission to insult men. I'm telling it like it is. Take it or leave, this is truth 100%
Normally, as you prepare yourself for an interview that you believe could do wonders for your career ( yes, WOMEN are ALLOWED to have careers psycho), you have the usual thoughts running through your mind. Like, how to present your accomplishments in true light and convincing your interviewer that you are indeed right for the job. I would assume that sounds just about on the right track don't you think? Well apparently not if you're a woman. A friend of mine just had the displeasure of being propositioned for sexual favors in exchange for a job. SO, this entails that a woman:
a) Cannot get a job based on her Merits
b) Must always be grateful to a man for giving her a job
c) Must gratify a man's needs in order to push through in her career
d) Must always feel like she owes men favors just because she deems herself fit to do a job.
Before you jump your guns, let me say- i agree that all men are not the same & many of them wouldn't even dream of taking this route. In fact my friend thought so too. In fact, the man in question was older than her father. So much so that she didn't even realize she was being propositioned until she spoke to me.
Lesson1- Never judge a man by his age. He could be a jerk regardless of how much he has or has not seen the world.
Lesson2- Never underestimate the lows that a man can fall to, all for a chance to get laid.
Lesson3- All men cannot be categorized as one. Just because Ur dad is a great guy, doesn't mean some other man of the same age is great.
Lesson4- Just because you believe in yourself and your ambitions and achievements, doesn't mean a man is not going to think of you a piece of ass.
I am without a doubt angry that this still happens in what we believe to be a free world. I am saddened that it all comes down to one thing after all, as much as we'd like to disagree. I AM NOT on a mission to insult men. I'm telling it like it is. Take it or leave, this is truth 100%
Friday, January 15, 2010
Ridin' Wit Da Flow
Sometimes breezing past everyday life seems like the easiest way out. If someone mentioned this in court, I'd be guilty as charged. Because hey, it's easy. Easy to look the other way, easy to sigh in relief cause it's not us. Ah... the quiet lull of false contentment. But somewhere, the devils' playing peekaboo and you fear you could be next.
So what provoked this mind numbing subject? Something as mundane as stepping out of my gym after a much needed and yet begrudged workout. As I stepped out in my track pants, pink jacket and gym bag in tow, what just about stopped my heart for a good ten seconds was a bunch of hoots and cat calls. A sharp 90 degree head turn allowed me to spot what was in fact the source of my superficial heart failure(LOL). A bunch of local boys, doing what they know best: rule the land like the lord and masters they were raised to believe they are. My mind reeled; flashing images of abuse went by as I decided on my next course of action. Should I make a run for it, or play it cool and calm. What do I do next if one of them decides to get too close for comfort? This little, albeit silly incident roughly translates into the following-:
1)As long as you have a Weaner, you can walk, talk, dress and behave any which way you'd like.
2) As long as you seem to have traces of womanhood ( read- breasts & legs), you will be subject to the kind of unruly behavior (in India) that the rest of the world would probably deem 4th world or worse.
3)If you so much as step outside the four walls of your house with clothes that remotely bear hint of the fact that you are a woman, you will be subject to hoots and cat calls and perhaps worse.
4) Even if you are COVERED as per the norms of those who make rules when they want to, you'll still be made to feel like you have no right to exist.
The list is endless, but I am sick and tired of feeling like I have no right to be myself when I'm out and about walking down the streets of a country that's supposedly mine and to whom I pay hard earned money in taxes that go nowhere that I can see. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch this patriarchal society run around believing they are the face of the new world, when the stories inside their own homes are dark and cloudy, filled with horror.
I even had a discussion with a female friend of mine. And the more you talk about it, the murkier the waters get. For example, any form that you fill, government or otherwise, will always ask you to fill in you father's name or your husband's name. Well, no offense to the fathers and husbands of the world, but shouldn't it be my choice whether I want to write my father's name or my mother's name or for a man to write his wife's name? Why force it on us? Does the worth of a woman begin and end with her ability to produce offspring and an occasional den to rest hungry lions? For God's sake, who gave you the right to claim the title of the be all and end all of the world??? Uh.. in case you didn't notice, ur only half the equation. Dim wits.
My anger mounts with every passing second. I cry hoarse if someone makes the mistake of labeling me a feminist. I AM NOT a feminist. Not in the least. I don't need to be treated specially or differently just because I am a woman. All I ask is that the world treat everyone as equal, that people be treated according to their merits and strength of character and not their gender. But the problem is, I could scream from now till the end of eternity, write a million blogs, garner strength from women across the nation who suffer worse on a daily basis, but the situation won't change. I say this because I come from a country where a lingerie store must face the wrath of the moral police who cannot digest the very idea of human beings requiring a decent pair of undies for their own personal hygiene. All lingerie store owners must live in fear of when some activists will come and tear their store down for having the audacity to sell underwear to those of us who wear them everyday of our lives. Oh! curse befall those who use condoms because oh! the moral police would rather have a nation succumbing to AIDS than educate people to make informed choices. Take a sneak peak in their own personal lives and you'll find worms crawling out of the woodwork; and I don't mean the ones the early birds eat every morning. But then again- maybe I do.
Don't pretend to be the face of the new world, when you don't know the first thing about being part of a moving, changing, growing and embracing world. Don't pretend to be the next super power country in the making, when you'd rather sit on ur arses and make polite and empty statements to the media while ur countrymen get burnt and hacked to death for just being Indian. Better yet, don't exist.
So what provoked this mind numbing subject? Something as mundane as stepping out of my gym after a much needed and yet begrudged workout. As I stepped out in my track pants, pink jacket and gym bag in tow, what just about stopped my heart for a good ten seconds was a bunch of hoots and cat calls. A sharp 90 degree head turn allowed me to spot what was in fact the source of my superficial heart failure(LOL). A bunch of local boys, doing what they know best: rule the land like the lord and masters they were raised to believe they are. My mind reeled; flashing images of abuse went by as I decided on my next course of action. Should I make a run for it, or play it cool and calm. What do I do next if one of them decides to get too close for comfort? This little, albeit silly incident roughly translates into the following-:
1)As long as you have a Weaner, you can walk, talk, dress and behave any which way you'd like.
2) As long as you seem to have traces of womanhood ( read- breasts & legs), you will be subject to the kind of unruly behavior (in India) that the rest of the world would probably deem 4th world or worse.
3)If you so much as step outside the four walls of your house with clothes that remotely bear hint of the fact that you are a woman, you will be subject to hoots and cat calls and perhaps worse.
4) Even if you are COVERED as per the norms of those who make rules when they want to, you'll still be made to feel like you have no right to exist.
The list is endless, but I am sick and tired of feeling like I have no right to be myself when I'm out and about walking down the streets of a country that's supposedly mine and to whom I pay hard earned money in taxes that go nowhere that I can see. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch this patriarchal society run around believing they are the face of the new world, when the stories inside their own homes are dark and cloudy, filled with horror.
I even had a discussion with a female friend of mine. And the more you talk about it, the murkier the waters get. For example, any form that you fill, government or otherwise, will always ask you to fill in you father's name or your husband's name. Well, no offense to the fathers and husbands of the world, but shouldn't it be my choice whether I want to write my father's name or my mother's name or for a man to write his wife's name? Why force it on us? Does the worth of a woman begin and end with her ability to produce offspring and an occasional den to rest hungry lions? For God's sake, who gave you the right to claim the title of the be all and end all of the world??? Uh.. in case you didn't notice, ur only half the equation. Dim wits.
My anger mounts with every passing second. I cry hoarse if someone makes the mistake of labeling me a feminist. I AM NOT a feminist. Not in the least. I don't need to be treated specially or differently just because I am a woman. All I ask is that the world treat everyone as equal, that people be treated according to their merits and strength of character and not their gender. But the problem is, I could scream from now till the end of eternity, write a million blogs, garner strength from women across the nation who suffer worse on a daily basis, but the situation won't change. I say this because I come from a country where a lingerie store must face the wrath of the moral police who cannot digest the very idea of human beings requiring a decent pair of undies for their own personal hygiene. All lingerie store owners must live in fear of when some activists will come and tear their store down for having the audacity to sell underwear to those of us who wear them everyday of our lives. Oh! curse befall those who use condoms because oh! the moral police would rather have a nation succumbing to AIDS than educate people to make informed choices. Take a sneak peak in their own personal lives and you'll find worms crawling out of the woodwork; and I don't mean the ones the early birds eat every morning. But then again- maybe I do.
Don't pretend to be the face of the new world, when you don't know the first thing about being part of a moving, changing, growing and embracing world. Don't pretend to be the next super power country in the making, when you'd rather sit on ur arses and make polite and empty statements to the media while ur countrymen get burnt and hacked to death for just being Indian. Better yet, don't exist.
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