CONDITIONED ABERRATION

As living beings- we're conditioned. Conditioned to do, conditioned to believe and most of all, we're conditioned to expect. We live in tiny bubbles built on immeasurable trust and faith in the other, believing without proof that they will turn out just the way we require them to be. Our invisible walls slowly dissipate and melt away into oblivion as each day passes. Until one day you're stopped in the middle of your tracks, expressing shock and dis-believe at how somebody from your soul circle could make you cry harder than you've ever cried before. Metaphorically too. You may not shed actual tears, but bits of your soul are taken away each time. Relief lies in accepting that we can't expect people to behave in ways that we would deem just and right and we can't expect people to behave in ways that you yourself may react in, if the situation were vice-versa. But just knowing this doesn't help. It's more about finding a place in yourself where nothing and nobody owns you and your happiness. Where you don't rely on other people to measure your self worth, nor do you rely on other people to be the source of your joys and lows. Where you own your wind and no one can take that away from you. We've somehow deluded ourselves into believing too much, forgetting too much and not understanding as much as we need to. It's easy to live in the moment, to enjoy the company of those that allow you to be you and to find spaces and comfort in people that you care for. But at the same time, understand that you mustn't go in blind. No one else can be you, no one else is you. And perhaps it 's unfair to expect someone else to do and say and react as you would.