I see right through you!!

Wonder how many of us have had at least one of these people in our lives... Those quiet shy ones, always afraid the world will see who they really are- scared & insignificant. They get their identity from you.... it's like they align themselves to the one they admire the most at the moment.. and pretty soon they jump ships and it's a new identity all over again.. Their claim to their own sense of self is derived from feasting on the left overs of those they admire. But soon, admiration turns to envy... it's not just enough to do things the way you do.. or dress the way you do.. or sound the way you sound.... they start wanting the same things you want too...the same career, the same effect on people.... and it doesn't stop there. No way! It's not enough that they want to be you or want the same things you do- they begin resenting you for the very same reasons they hitched a ride on your bandwagon in the first place!! They begin snooping.. tip-toeing & while the world still thinks them innocent, they manage to get inside you skin & turn what you thought was your life- upside down... and the best part- they always get away with it!!! Like it was your fault you let them in cause you felt sorry for them..
So what works? Confrontation? nope, they'll turn the tables right back at you before you can say OBSESSED. Try & help them? Only if your ok with being lied to for the rest of your life & be ok with the charade of pretense they'll keep up till the end of existence.An emotionally & spiritually draining experience if i ever saw one... Cut them out of your life? Not unless your ok with abandoning someone who's clearly in need of so much help... Almost like Catch 22 at it's peak.
But you know what.. I've come to learn & gladly accept- that no matter what- no matter how this person parades themselves to the world, no matter who believes this person or doesn't.. They'll never be ME. I don't claim to be the best example of a human being- but there's a limit to the falsification of self based on another. It's as simple as that.... and someone up there's keeping scores... you may fool the world, but you'll never fool me & the man upstairs.... Karma's a Bummer!!

Michael Jackson- A Tribute ( August 29th 1958- June 25th 2009)

Michael Jackson- A name that brings to mind varied images of music & talent & unlikely newspaper headlines... But he was more than that.. He was more than just the king of pop.. The emotions are overwhelming...A soul who lived most of his life feeling lonely.. and mis-understood... needing to be loved & appreciated & understood...... The world never let him just be.....And perhaps that's what this life was meant to be... A life so significant perhaps as if to give strength to those who doubted....
I've spent countless hours listening to my family members tell me how even when I was a mere one year old toddler.. I'd jump up & down as soon as I heard Michael's songs or videos.... And that sums up the effect that this man has had on people. In the days of VCR's, my father had recorded countless hours of Michael Jackson's footage and we'd watch it together, happy just to see the immense talent that this person exhibited.

The world is probably looking for words to express the emotion of losing the king of pop...but Michael has been through a lot..and who even knows the extent of pain that he went through-except him....
Michael you have been an inspiration.... you are a legend.... a star in every sense... I hope your soul finds it's way to true love, peace & happiness..
I never knew you personally.... but there's always been a sense of affinity towards you.. maybe because sometimes the songs sung within the soul is heard across time.. perhaps.... Rest in peace Michael...

Destiny Vs. Free-Will

People cringe when I talk about destiny.. That everything we all experience is pre-ordained.. And truly, there are two sides to it... some argue that free-will makes the world what it is... and I suppose that's true as well. Free-will lets us choose what we want to do & what we eventually end up doing, but I wonder; how do we even come up to that point of deciding? I heard someone say, you believe what you need to believe to make peace with yourself.... some may believe that destiny decides what course of action this life takes. It makes it easier to deal with painful incidents.. like no matter what you could have done.. a certain event would've occurred non the less...It's easier to take hits this way. But there's some who believe that life is what you make of it... everything here is your decision & even when you're in the middle of murky waters, you have the power to change it. These people seem to be great at picking & going at life with great gusto time & again... and it seems like a nice place to be in.. to never let anyone or anything pull you down & "settle". Then there are those, who believe in neither, but will falsely align themselves to either one.. just to please whoever they're wanting to please...
And me? hmmm.. personally I believe life is a mix of destiny and free-will.. meaning, life may take a certain pre-ordained path, but free-will lets you choose how destiny pans put.... I'll talk more about this soon..

Un-chartered Skies

Often there's mile stones we come across,
definitive curves of destiny,
shaping the wounds the soul bares.
arking you; much like the territorial nature of animals;
scarring the core that seems to be you.

T'was long ago it was..
the raven had set soar.
Clipped as they were- the wings,
yet foolishly grew hope within.
Un-chartered skies- un-seeing eyes
met the tempest at it's prime.
Foolishly poor raven believed;
tempest carried her soul within.

HALF-TRUTHS

Once Upon a time, she cried, fearful;
fair weather was but a mask,
reveling in the vines of half-truth;
They spoke in whispers,
Unaware, enchanted, envious...

The wind mocked the Raven;
It knew & thrived on the nector the vines of half-truth expelled;
It mocked the raven's misery.
The raven caged, yet un-sheltered..
feathers flaying...
she lay exposed while the wind mocked.

The truth, known yet unknown...
mile-stones remembered, cherished
and consumed all alone.

The paradoxical journey of this soul,
Alone, yet exposed..
The mocking wind, a companion as seen by the envious world;
The tears still remain hidden;
masked by fair-weather,
carried away by the mocking wind forever.

FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS!!

The picture really does say it all. Funny, Outrageous (no, not the song!), adorable, seemingly clever & perhaps the only living beings in the world who know the power of what a puppy face & a melt-worthy look can do to a poor, unsuspecting human heart… Brace yourself people, you’re in for one hell of a trip!!!! Welcome to the world of animals.

They come in all sorts of sizes, but the one thing they know how to do is have their way, hands down, 100%. And you can’t really blame them; it’s those droopy soulful eyes that beseech you to do as they want!! Anyone who has a pet at home knows what I’m talking about!

They can walk around the house like they own it (and to be honest with you, they do!) cuddle next to you when they want (key word: WHEN THEY WANT) and demand for food and walks like nobody’s business. Got a favorite couch? Fuh-get-about-it.. Your pet takes it while you stand and watch. Want to eat in peace? Not until you give him a bite of what you’re eating. Oh wait.. Two bites.. No lets make that three… and before you know it, he’s eating the plate right off your hands.
Ah- ha! The TV! Your pet doesn’t even know what a TV is. Hehehehehe.. There’s one thing your pet can’t stop you from doing.. REALLY?? Think again my friend.. See that little face that parked himself right in front of the TV?? Yup, that’s your pet… how dare you watch TV when you could be doing other useful things, for example take me for a nice long walk outside….
Remember those lazy Sundays, where you just feel like sleeping in late, huddled under the blanket? Not for long!!! A big paw with sharp toenails punches you on your face.. Reminding you that it’s a beautiful day outside and he/she needs to go for the much-waited walk. “How could you not? I’ve been waiting for you to wake up all night!!” And reluctantly you drag yourself out of bed.. Put on the leash and out you go.. But all your grumpiness fades away when you watch your pet happily chasing after early morning butterflies and birds…. Until an earth-shattering shriek breaks your reverie: he’s bitten the neighbor again…. Time to start apologizing profusely for something that was not your fault in the first place!!!
But as tiresome as all of this seems, it adds more value to that speechless being that we can ever imagine…. And in return you get un-conditional, un-matched compassion, which is sometimes more than you can get from most human beings caught up in their own web of emotions. No matter what kind of person you are.. no one else would ever greet you at your front door the way a pet does.

And for most of us who can’t have a pet at home for various reasons, I encourage all of you to at least adopt a stray on the road.. You don’t need to invite him home.. But you can give him love and compassion. You can treat the animal well… a kind word won’t get you to lose anything… for all the time and money you spend eating at the local tuck shop or bakery, share some of the goodies with these animals… they will always remember your kindness…. And if you feel like buying them food id too much to handle, at least watch out for them.. Don’t let anyone mis-treat them. Don’t kick them out of your way.. They may not be able to speak, but they sure can feel and their eyes will tell you a story….. You just need to listen….

SHELVES

Borrowed time, borrowed space,
Even this body deemed mis-placed.
No right, no fights,
Tears seem the only base.
Always afraid,
So afraid to speak.
The mind now believes thoughts are but flashes from a dream.


Afraid of what? The warrior asks.
Afraid of the world, the soul remarks.
Afraid to speak on it’s own behalf.
What numbs this mind, some might think-
Oblivious as her world sinks
Un-canny resemblance at arms length
Creepers crawl, within-without,
Leaves her drowning in shadows of doubt.


Outbursts too, like broken flames.
Outwards fierce, but inside tame.
Clouds forming within,
Dousing flames, chances slim.
Left alone, it curls within.
Licking walls bereft of self,
The ashes fall-
Book cases forming apt shelves.

THE DANCE

Shadows fall, through fissures;
Wounds old but new.
Everlasting, all pervading;
A falcon’s cry; the storm puts pressure.


Strange song & dance this;
Joyous to the naked eye,
Blinding those reasoned to bliss.
But the wind knows-
The truth; in the Falcon’s cry- bellows.



The path Walked before,
Memories from eons ago.
Like leaves, feathered touch;
Like thorns, her signature cut.


The tempest blew, carried all away,
The eye was calm; dark as night- the falcon swayed.
Did she watch her hapless prey?
Suffering, turning- no escape.


And so the dance carried on-
Shortly joined by another;
Wild, exotic, evil,
Falsely warm.

QUESTIONS

What is pain?
Darkened corners of heightened pleasure.
Road trips, nor time to measure.
What is time?
With heartened soul, stirring,
Churning; all within.

Streets within, blackened,
Charcoal snow…
Lights beaming; outside-within.
Shivers; nimble soul;
Is it now or was it then?
Is the wait over? Or did it just begin?
Clueless; sometimes grasping….

Years fold, unfold..
Uneasy, easy, empty full..
Lost in time, or time lost within?
Spaces, walls open fields…
The mirror reflects;
You, them, her or she;
Little barrels- boned-
Stand alone; rainfall across the street.

Is that me or you within?
Waiting, shifting, changing, constant.
Realities, truth, cover-up resonant.
My truth is your make-believe.

The hardest First Steps to an awakening

t's a strange feeling... There are few times in your life that you come across people that you feel immediately connected to.. like they add music to the song your soul's been singing.... a soul connection that you think will last forever. Soon you become soul sisters.. never once imagining that a few years down the line, this very connection would cause unimaginable grief. You try reasoning, you try not getting caught up in your own web of neediness & sense of betrayal.... you even convince yourself that you're doing what you are, only to help this person wake up from the clout of lies she's spun for herself and yet... it all fails.... You begin to feel like the term "Friendship" is overrated.....The blame game begins on the outside.. while on the inside, the turbulence is so powerful that you start looking for some answers.. any answers...could this be a karmic connection? Maybe this soul was supposed to walk into your life for something specific then walk out... and you struggle to find out what that purpose is.....And the whole time, you wonder how she could walk around.. oblivious to the pain and conflict within you....
It takes a kindred soul or two to wake you into realization.... There is only so much you can do..... at some point you've got to think about what's good for you & what's toxic.....perhaps you want to cling on for the hope that a friendship of 9 years won't fall apart for those million crazy , insignificant reasons. But then you recognize the debilitating features of this toxic relationship... You want to stay & help..... but the ship has sunk.. you just got knocked out so hard that the stars blocked your vision...And for the sake of your peace & sanity.. you're faced with the unimaginable task of letting go... perhaps this is how you make a fresh start.. perhaps new beginnings & awakenings don't happen till you take that first step and perhaps the first step really is to cut away from anyone & anything that builds negativity...Perhaps, this is how the new chapter begins.